.THE ME.

This is me, im not used to this.

pouring my feelings, showing people who really exists.

Loud, Out there, Lazy.. Dixie. 

That's what people see. really its not me.

Being for real. Do people wanna know this one?

This "one" loves to act stupid, and laugh.

She does not like to give half.

This one dreams, big dreams.

This one wishes she was better maybe even to gleam.

To be independent she expects.

Confusing this one is, very complex.

Single forever she remains, but is in no rush.

This girl can sleep all day, and everyday her hair she must brush.

She is definitely her daddy's girl.

And she would always give anything a whirl.

Country music she always has on,

Best friend's she has five.

Her cross is always hung high and excellence she thrives.

She misses her grandmother with all her heart,

She concentrates on this finish line not the start.

This girl doesn't really open up like this,

and likes that she can write, open and reminisce.

This blog is she, and she feels like it's time,

time to help and concentrate on this climb.

.UNSTABLE.

All those dreams immediately came true.

As I lived that reality, I became small that I knew.

The people? Amazing, brilliant. Me... faded.

Im no leader, Im not 4.0, only degraded.

"Be a shepherd" "You don't know those notes."

Normal, silly, lazy.. ME. Not many votes.

Not recognized I now see. Why am I here?

Everyone had that chance as I learn to steer.

I soon see there's two.. this girl amazing also her second year.

As I hear her story I realize it's mine as I see a tear.

Everyone I see so smart, so bright.

This is all I have, all that's right.

Im loosing this game , & loosing grip of what I admire.

I listen to them all. All they do is inspire.

My chance finally came and im over sung.

I feel so little, so young.

A show, & all I hear is "You have a solo? I didn't hear."

And once again im lost, nothing's clear.

Testing had come, and as I stand shaking.I HEARD.

FIRST, not second and definitely not third.

As I look around everyone normal...

Me? So happy until I slowly came to the fact I feel like im nothing.. not so formal.

I walk away with this head hung so low.

Until she steps in "Shivers you gave me that belongs to you that solo"

That tear once again rolls down, but different a bright smile.

Maybe this girl does have hope? Maybe it's worthwhile.

My element. My thing. Un noticeable...

At this moment in time I pray I will not remain this unstable.

"THE WORST THING ABOUT SAYING GOODBYE TO SOMEONE IS HAVING TO DO IT EVERYDAY."

Wishing, praying she will come back
Filling in the empty cracks.
Only one that beleived in me.
Hoping someone will once get to know she.
"You can do it, i'm always here."
Always here? Bullshit she's nowhere near.
What am I saying? I miss her so much.
Her by my side her smile & her touch.
People say we look just alike.
First step done, second finished, up to the third strike.
I't out.. She's out.. Game is done.
She's gone, but though I wish I could of won.
Better places,
Better faces.
Without me? He had to end us.
I can't imagine life without fuss.
When she would yell at me,
but still the love, so free.
I miss her, & may lose another,
but never will I regret the love.
Memories, hope, never lost.
Always in my mind no matter what cost.

.NEXTSTEP.

Taking that step is the hardest decision this girl needs to make.

The platform, the stage, my dreams I wish I would not awake.

Those dreams are as big as a tree top,

but will this dream ever be reality? I hope it isn't a long drop.

Fading deeper, fading faster the real me is leaving.

I live on, I live high why be so deceiving?

As difficult as it may be, this life is a fast trip.

People never, but I hear forever. Im slowly losing grip.

All I have is my hopes and loves.

This isn't right, everyone just shoves.

Slowly walking higher im realizing, always competing.

Im lacking happiness, & gaining more fear, my heart wont ever stop beating.

The second I live & grow the faster I understand 

these dreams will never fade, I'll never leave that land.

No matter who I walk with, or where I go.

I will always follow where this heart leads everywhere it will show.

.PERFECT.

What is Perfect? Beautiful, Intelectual, powerful. Having to be this word to not

feel neglect. Being what everyone else wants to see. Being you is never enough.

No one will ever be free. Instead of shinning through,

you have a single scuff.

In life were taught to stand tall.

So why is it people make me feel so small?

Who really sets these standards so high?

Im finished with these tears & moving on this i won't deny.

To be beautiful is a state of mind.

If people can't see im beautiful inside they are blind.

I will no longer listen to people who put me down

but listen to my heart that will never make me frown.

.NEVER SAY NEVER.

There's some things we don't talk about
Rather do withoutAnd just hold the smile
Falling in and out of loveAshamed and proud of
Together all the while.
You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Picture you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hand
You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time, time and time again
Younger now then we were before
Don't let me goDon't let me go
Don't let me go
We're pulling apart and coming together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together,
pull it together, together again
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go

.FOR REAL.

This girl isnt looking back, only what's infront.
Forward, not behind. Easy to say, hard to climb the mount.
One step, next step. One infront of another one.
What I write is what I beleive, this little sum.
She taught me well, taught me to live.
I always feel like letting go. Like I have nothing else to give.
Missing that feeling, that feeling I used to feel.
Getting closser with these friends. Friendships as tough as steel.
Will letting go help find me?
Will finding me make this girl free?
Failure will come at times.
Success will quickly follow. Different feelings, all different kinds.
School is long seeing those faces.
Wishing for the moment when im home with different cases.
One year away from being finished this long game.
These faces will be remembered but this girl will always stay the same.
So many things to complete before im off.
Losing/Gaining/Finishing/Starting never forget these memories, so soft.
As I grow older I remember what she taught me.
My time will come people will soon realize this she.
Standing out, stanting tall, life is passing soon.
Im going to be that butterfly comming out of her cacoon.
The first step is hard but me i'll always be.
She, Her, The, Me...Dixie.

.GAMEOVER.

Friends? The simple definition of a friend: Someone that will always have your back.
Boyfriend? Someone that has your back but loves?
To me its the same except for that STUPID word LOVE.
Love? closest thing we have to magic..
Never ever ever felt this word.Why is it so important?
Five months and still no feeling.
Its done.finished.over.
Me? Im happy.
Friends will always have your back but
boyfriends=Overrated.Take it easy.relax.
Everything will happen
and us? Friends&Happy