Not important enough.

I've never been important enough. In my school, in a sport, in any activity, or even in my own fucking house. Noone believes in me enough noone understands or cares how I feel. People are probably wondering why im being "emo" but really Im not emo at all. Noone understands how much pain im in. Since I was young I've had a fucked up foot, everyone who knows me knows that, and I could never get the surgery that I needed because I wasnt old enough. I've been waiting for this surgery my entire life, because of the pain emotionally but not only that but phisically. This foot kills me so much so much that I cry in the middle of the night when I wake up with pains. Noone really understands this.. and after seeing a doctor that says "It's finally time" It costs to much money. Usually we would be allowed to get this surgery and the money would not be an issue but the homes renovation comes before me, and my sisters dominican trip comes before me. It's really frustrating sitting on the bench watching my team play on that court when my foots so swelled up I can't play. Im moving to the states after this year, and won't be able to get it for another couple years. So my parents bring me to another hospital, this time the doctor says "maybe we could try something else other than surgery.. AND THERE I AM CRYING IN THE DOCTORS OFFICE because Noone once again understands how much this fucking kills me. Then after seeing the tears the doctor says okay we can do the surgery next year.. WAITING AND WAITING MORE AND MORE noone fucking understands.. There I will be on the sidelines still while I wait for this fucking surgery.. this is actually bullshit, but here we go again IM LAST. I dont need the surgery its fine im done this fucking shit..